Addiction and Family FAQ » Enabling http://www.addictionandfamily.com Questions & Answers about Families and Addicted Family Members Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:48:49 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 What does enabling mean? http://www.addictionandfamily.com/what-does-enabling-mean/ http://www.addictionandfamily.com/what-does-enabling-mean/#comments Wed, 22 Jul 2009 18:03:40 +0000 admin http://www.addictionandfamily.com/?p=27 Enabling occurs when loved ones try to “help” an addict, when in actuality they are not are not helping at all.  The family or friend is actually removing consequences from an addict’s behavior; these painful consequences are necessary to drive…

]]> Enabling occurs when loved ones try to “help” an addict, when in actuality they are not are not helping at all.  The family or friend is actually removing consequences from an addict’s behavior; these painful consequences are necessary to drive an addict to feel the need for change.  In other words, if someone is always there to clean up the addict’s wreckage, there is no need for him to change his behavior.

A classic example of enabling is a spouse of an alcoholic calling in sick for him.  It has been said that the last thing an alcoholic wants to lose is his job.  Essentially, enabling involves doing things for the addict/alcoholic that he should be doing for himself.

]]> http://www.addictionandfamily.com/what-does-enabling-mean/feed/ 0 How do family and friends stop enabling? http://www.addictionandfamily.com/how-do-family-and-friends-stop-enabling/ http://www.addictionandfamily.com/how-do-family-and-friends-stop-enabling/#comments Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:04:40 +0000 admin http://www.addictionandfamily.com/?p=29 Loved ones have to make difficult decisions if they are going to stop enabling.  They need to “detach with love,” which involves supporting healthy behaviors and not supporting addictive and unhealthy behaviors.  Support for family members is available through Alanon and other 12 Step Groups, including Codependency Anonymous.

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